Dear Celebrity PR Flack;
I wanted to extend my great sympathies to you in this time of great turmoil. The endless spewing of celebrity scandal has certainly made life difficult for all the PR people in the celebrity world. My sympathy goes out to both the reps of the good and the twisted.
To those who do PR for the good, the celebrities who have stable loving faithful marriages who are perhaps just trying to promote a new movie or tv show, I sympathize with your struggles. Read the cover of any and all celebrity magazines and all you see is Sandra and Jesse or Elin and Tiger. Two People magazines in a row featured such similar photos of Sandra that I thought I'd been sent the same magazine twice. Pity the poor PR person who is out representing someone who is organizing a big fundraiser. You have to compete with the celebrity mistresses of the world - whose PR people are doing an excellent job of parlaying their scandals into fortunes by the way. And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse Larry King and Tiki Barber jumped into the mix. While certainly not worthy of A-list caliber coverage they are sucking up all the B roll time on E and Entertainment Tonight. All I can say is keep on trying, eventually you'll catch a break. Perhaps they'll all end up in rehab together so they can be covered in a single story and you can catch a break with your pitch on whatever sequel your client is starring in this summer.
To the PR flacks of the twisted, my goodness you do have your hands full. It's hard to imagine what life must be like when your client is caught then keeps trying to lie to cover the truth. Hard to believe that one of the worst cheaters, David Letterman, is actually doing quite well. He cheated for years, with his employees no less, yet because he told the truth and took his lumps he's doing just fine. Seems he got good PR advice and actually listened and implemented it. And he didn't even have to go to rehab. Not like Jesse James who seems very upset about his marriage being destroyed but unaware that he is the one who is responsible for the whole mess. Run Sandra Run.
The saddest thing of all is that you know more scandals are coming. The PR folks can't stop it because of course they are being kept in the dark. I can virtually guarantee that none of the celebs are saying to their PR person - you know I think I'm going to cheat on my wife this week. And even if they did, none of them would listen when the PR person tries to point out that nobody gets away with that behavior these days.
Nope, the PR people find out months later - usually about 10 minutes before the story breaks. Then they scramble to help their client weather the storm as best they can, knowing that most of the time the client will ignore their advice anyway. Celebs pay 1000's of dollars to experts that they then ignore. It's sad really.
So good luck all you celebrity PR folks. Maybe George Clooney will change girlfriends again and take the heat off everyone.