Saturday in the Park: Speaking at the SWE Picnic

Yesterday started out a long drive - San Jose to Sacramento to be precise. Because I am perpetually worried about being late I left for the three hour drive (there's always traffic everyone says) at about 8:15 - assuming I would arrive in the park at 11:30 - plenty of time to figure out where the picnic I was the featured speaker at was. And the fact that it was Easter weekend was also lurking in the back of my mind - would the whole world have taken a three day weekend - and if yes which three days. From the moment I left my driveway to the time I got to the park the only time I stopped was at the single toll I encountered. I never even hit a red light. So there I was in the park an hour earlier than planned.

McKinley Park in Sacramento is really just lovely, their only flaw is a complete lack of a parking lot. Which on most days was probably not a problem but the fact that the park was hosting a Pancake breakfast, a massive easter egg hunt and about 20 other smaller events did not help. However, after circling the park 4 times I finally figured out that you could only park on one side of the street, changed direction and managed to locate a space not far from the picnic location - the tables near the tennis courts. It was such a pretty day I walked around the park enjoying the fresh air, the sunshine and the people watching. I settled near the tennis courts and reviewed my speakers notes, envisioning how I would be working with the audience and enjoyed the vigorous games of tennis that were taking place. Better than Forest Lawn.

Around 11:30 I called Allison, my contact, to see where exactly the picnic was taking place and settled in our section - Area 1. I had been watching with some consternation the setting up of a large bouncy house with an extremely loud engine/pump thing that was inflating it. I found myself praying that this would not be running the entire picnic. My prayers were not answered- that darned engine ran the entire picnic and straight through my talk - my voice is a wreck today.

Anyway, Allison arrived and we set up what we had available and settled into people watch and wait for everyone and the food to arrive. We were thrilled to literally see the Easter Bunny hopping down the trail towards us - but he was derailed by a group of small children. Definitely a classic moment. More on him later.

The group arrived and we all ate the lovely picnic lunch. I was fed first since I was speaking during dessert. The group I was speaking to was the Sacramento chapter of SWE - Society of Women Engineers. We had about 20 people - including several children, students from area colleges and several professional women. Everyone had a great deal of interest in our topic - The Imposter Syndrome.

The talk went really well. I spoke about the Anita Borg Institute and the Grace Hopper Celebration. Our initial exercise had everyone standing up and sitting down as a read a set of conditions - you had to stand up if you matched the condition - i.e. you have children, you're over 40, you've ever felt that you were unqualified for your role. I think it was a great icebreaker (cheers to Kim McLeod who taught me that icebreaker method) - each time people stood up they looked around to see who was like them - and it drew some big smiles.

I talked for a while about the Imposter Syndrome, what it is, what the "symptoms" are, and ways to overcome it. I was glad everyone was so focused on me, though I was momentarily distracted when I saw the Easter Bunny run by on the trail midway through my talk. Not something you see when you're inside HP speaking. Then we did a breakout session where they broke into groups and discussed ways they would overcome specific situations. The groups did a great deal of talking, then we all came back together and shared our experiences. Each team did a great job presenting and had really well thought out answers.

We did a general Q&A session and then everyone turned to the most important work of eating desserts. Yes, I went off my diet and had an Easter Cupcake. Finally I said farewell and headed home. It was a great group that was very open and shared a lot of their feelings and insights on the concept of the Imposter Syndrome.

I was able to stop by and see Kim and take a break from my journey on the way home. I was exhausted and having dinner with her and relaxing a bit was just what I needed before making that final push to get home. All in all a great day in the Park. Now if I could just have gotten one of the engineers to sabotage the engine of that darned bouncy house.

Speaking Engagement: The Imposter Syndrome

On Saturday I am driving up to Sacramento to present on the Imposter Syndrom at a gathering of SWE's Sacramento chapter. While all presentations are a little daunting this one is more so because the persentation will take place at a picnic in the park so I will not have my crutches - the thoughtfully laid out powerpoint slides, charts, graphs, tables or cute cartoons that will illustrate my points. So I am reliant just on the words of my notes on the sheets of paper I'll carry with me.

The material for Saturday is so interesting that it seems to be laying itself out - my research on the topic - how people can believe themselves to be imposters at their jobs - is fascinating. I'm hoping the material I've gathered and the dialogue at the event will combine to make an entertaining and educational hour. Now I just need to find another 4 solid hours this week to nail the whole thing down. A great trainer once told me - for every 1 hour you are presenting spend 8 hours on preparation. I was able to spend 4 solid hours this weekend but I still have a ways to go. So fingers crossed as I prepare for Monday.

The cure for a fear of public speaking - 250 little old ladies

I am moderating a panel tonight at our Savvy Geek Chix Event. We'll be discussing strategies for keeping your job, and what to do when you are job hunting. I used to be petrified of public speaking. It would take all my nerve to get everyone at the dinner table in college to clink their glasses so that I could stand up and make a one minute announcement about the next day's flag football game (yes I was team captain). I could lead meetings and group discussions. But put me in front of an audience and I would tense up. I remember rehearsing my thesis presentation (which was presented to basically all the senior science majors and faculty in a large auditorium), and my best friend pointing out to me that I was systematically tugging at my dress skirt. I refrained during the presentation and basically was doing fine during the regular presentation until someone sneezed in the audience. They tell me I jumped about a mile in the air, turned and screamed god bless you, then smiled and went back to presenting. I remember none of it.

Somehow I avoided large auditoriums and audiences for the next 5 years, except for one very memorable presentation to the New York State Telephone Association. My boss told me that it appeared I took one deep breath and read the speech without ever pausing or breathing until I finished. I don't remember it.

Then my boss Bill Hammond, one of my favorite people in the world, decided that part of my objectives was public relations events. I was Regional Marketing Manager for the State of Pennsylvania and based at Enterprise Telephone Company. And so he sent me to do a presentation on understanding your telephone bill to the Sunshine Senior Group in New Holland PA (the name of the group has been changed due to my inability to remember names). He told me how could I be afraid of 15 little old ladies and assured me I'd do fine. I walked in and instead of 15 ladies at a table I was confronted by an enormous room packed full. I quickly counted - 25 tables, each with 10 seats. 250 little old ladies. I was doomed. I had, yes it was the old days, transparencies and my projector which I carefully set up as I was scrutinized closely. I easily topped each of these women by a foot and I think I was the only one in the room who was not wearing a Mennonite cap on my head. To top it off I had an extremely curly perm in those days and my hair was naturally very blond. I was in my very favorite teal suit and pumps - the very picture of the 80's business woman confronting little ladies that had all been farmers wives during the depression -not necessarily my constituency.

I was terrified. I'm not sure what I was afraid of more - fainting or somehow having all these women attack me for my lack of a cap.

I was introduced and got up and began my talk - careful to avoid eye contact. I could hear people in the back talking and I was completely unsure what to do so I just talked faster. I suddenly realized that one of the little tiny ladies in the front row had stood up and was tugging on my jacket. All I could think is "this is it, she's going to throw me out",even though I could have easily picked her up with one hand. I stopped and looked at her. She held out her hand for my microphone. I gave it to her. She turned to the audience and into the microphone she said, "This little girl came all the way from the phone company to tell us about phone bills. And I for one want to hear it. So all you chatterboxes in the back," she paused, "SHUT UP". She turned back to me, handed me the microphone, patted my cheek and said- "You go ahead honey."

Well I just had to laugh. And the audience laughed with me. With that I turned back to the audience and said - I have just a couple of slides but I'm going to forget about them and let me just answer your questions. With that my 15 minute talk turned into an hour long Q&A. The ladies were great and I actually was able to use my slides when answering their questions. It was great.

I'll never forget that little woman. She taught me that an audience won't be in the room unless they want to hear what you are saying. And yes, over the years I've had people walk out on talks - but I don't take offense anymore. And I love it when people raise their hands and ask questions - I prefer my talks to be interactive. So I'm not nervous about tonight. Well not too much. I may give my skirt just a couple of tugs as we get started.